From Growth to Exit

“Only 12% of family businesses make it to the third generation.”
That statistic struck with me as I read Alfredo De Massis’s book on family businesses.

I was part of that 12%—the families who successfully hand over the reins from the first to the second, and then to the third generation. That’s no small feat. And like many others, we chose not to strive for the elusive 4% who reach the fourth generation.

Our business began humbly—just two road workers in London, my grandfather and his brother, immigrants starting out in the rebuild after WWII. By the time my brothers, cousin, and I took the helm in the third generation, we had inherited a legacy of hard work, growth, and deeply embedded family ties. We built the company into a business of 3,500 staff at its peak, before stabilising at 1,800.

I wasn’t just an employee—I was the HR Director. I held a modest but meaningful 9% shareholding. I had a vote at the table, but I was also a daughter, sister, cousin, and niece. The business wasn’t just part of my career. It was part of my identity.

Eventually, as we approached pre-retirement age, we made the decision to exit. It was the right time. Among our fourth generation—12 of them in total—not one had the desire to lead. And that’s understandable. They had their own paths to follow. We weren’t unique in facing this. In fact, we were part of a well-researched pattern. And I’m proud of what we sustained as a third-generation leadership team.

The Invisible Contracts of Family Business

In HR, we often speak of the psychological contract—those unspoken expectations between employee and employer. In family businesses, the contract runs far deeper. It's bound up in loyalty, legacy, and long histories.

I’ve seen how the business can become, as one woman recently described it to me, “the other child” in a family. Her parents’ focus on their company left her feeling sidelined. Despite the privilege she enjoyed growing up in Manhattan, she carried resentment that eventually shaped her life’s direction—getting as far as possible away from the family firm.

For me, as a child, I simply accepted that my father was always working. His social life revolved around business deals on the golf course. The line between personal and professional blurred long before I even had a title.

The Three Circles - and Their Gaps

The classic Three-Circle Model—Family, Ownership, and Business—is a Venn diagram that can help explain where conflicts arise in family firms. In my case, I straddled all three circles. But that model doesn’t tell the full story anymore.

It doesn’t account for how modern entrepreneurial families operate across multiple initiatives—property, philanthropy, public investments. It doesn’t reflect how wealth can be managed beyond the firm. And it doesn’t always acknowledge how family structures themselves have evolved—blending through marriages, divorces, step-families, or distance.

It’s a helpful framework, yes. But it can unintentionally limit our view of what legacy looks like today.

Choosing to Close a Chapter

When my family sold the business, it wasn’t because we’d failed. Quite the opposite. We’d grown and stewarded something extremely reputable and valuable over decades. We chose to end on our terms, with the company in good health, overflowing order book, and with clarity that the next generation wasn’t beholden to an outdated expectation. We were reassured that our legacy was passed to trusted stewards who would look after our staff and pensioners well.

Legacy is about more than longevity. It’s about stewardship. About knowing when to transfer through the generations—and when to let it go.

For families in business, it’s worth asking:
Are we building something that serves the next generation—or something they must serve?
Are we opening doors for them—or locking them into roles we once filled?

I didn’t become an academic. I became someone experienced in helping people navigate the human side of work—through conflict, culture, and courageous conversations. I’m aware of how much of that understanding was formed in the lived experience of a family business.

To all families in business:
Success isn’t measured solely by the number of generations.
Sometimes it’s found in knowing when to close the circle—with grace.